Eight black identities

I will give you some time to have a read of the image below, if you haven’t done so already. 

Black people believe they have no power, but with each passing day, I witness more and more condescending, and even racist, ideas being posted on social media. If they remain just opinions, that is tolerable; but, the problem is that these “opinions” are rapidly being imbedded in society and are being imposed on each and every one of us.
 
The “8 White Identities” guideline is truly unique in that it has stripped white people of their individuality and bundled them into certain groups. Surprisingly, all of these definitions of whiteness are centred on blackness, racism, diversity, or something similar. In other words, the existence of individuals who are not racialized as white is dependant on how a white person decides to act – or not act – on any given day. The core of someone racialized as white is how they make “non-whites” feel on a daily basis, whether consciously or subconsciously, directly or indirectly, intentionally or unintentionally. In other words, white people’s life must, in some ways, revolve around so-called people of colour.
  
Ok, so what is the aim of this breakdown of the 8 white identities? Is there an aim? I can only assume that the goal is for white people to fall into the eighth category, abolitionists, who will battle against the faults of whiteness and refuse to allow “whiteness to reassert itself.”
 
Interesting.
 
So in the name of balancing things out, I have put together the 8 Black identities. Let’s see if I can make it as patronizing as the one above.
 
 
 
1) Black supremacist – Great believer that Black is King. Black is supreme. Black is God. Black should be worshipped. Jesus is black, Jews are black, Egyptians are black. In fact, Black people are the first and true humans. The first and true race. They are the originators of life. White people are the infiltrators on planet earth and are also sub-human, making them an eternal enemy to black people. White people should not be able to co-exist with black people.
2) Black creationist – Everything and all things were created by and for black people; ALL technology, culture, architecture, science, medicine, education, literature, film. Anything that is good and in existence today was first stolen from black people. All the good lands, resources and good inventions were first owned by black people and stolen from them. I don’t mean some, I mean all. No exceptions.
3) Black privileged – This person understands that society will do anything else before it offends a black person. Offending a black person is a big no-no. They are aware that there are now systems in place to severely, mercilessly and openly punish anyone that upsets or rejects a black person. So they use this privilege to their advantage to try and get what they want and even as a tool for revenge or to use against someone they don’t like and wish to destroy. It’s a superpower indeed. Keep in mind however that if you are black but you don’t subscribe to the accepted definition of what it means to be black, then this privilege will be used against you too and you can also find yourself on the receiving end of the same punishment. Hence this privilege can sometimes be referred to as “woke privilege” as not every black person is eligible to have or use this privilege.
4) Black gatekeeper – This person has a very important function in the group. Their role is to make sure that black people stay in check and stay within the accepted constructs of blackness. They do not take their job lightly and any black person not seen to hold the collective and accepted standards of being black is treated with contempt and excluded from being black, or demoted to the group of black traitors (number 8). The rules constantly change of what it means to be considered black so they must always be alert and stay on their toes, ready to enact these unspoken laws that must be followed in order to keep your black status which will come in handy when you wish to use your black privilege, as only those who are confirmed and accepted in the “black community” are the ones entitled to use their black privilege.
5) Black apologist – They believe that being born black is a big responsibility in itself so no other responsibilities should be placed on a black person whilst they live on this earth. Therefore a black person can never do wrong and they can never be wrong. They are always excused from taking responsibility or being accountable for their own actions. Every error they make must be due to the effects of slavery, Jim Crow, racism, past colonisation, black fatigue, white supremacy and oppression. If a black person chooses a wrong path in life, the black apologist is promptly on hand to defend them. They argue that such a person should be at least free to commit as many mistakes and wrongdoings as they want since they are “not free” to do anything else in their life.
6) Black conformist – They absolutely have no opinions of their own. Due to lack of self identity, they find their meaning and identity by being part of the group. They constantly look to the black gatekeeper in order to stay updated on what is or what isn’t acceptable as a black person and then they structure their thinking based on it. Even if they have their own personal opinions, they always discard it in favour of the group’s opinion. They are always more concerned about the black thing to do rather than the right thing to do. They forever fight to stay within the socially approved dimensions of “being black”
7) Black guilt – This one is a highly successful black person, they started from having very little like the majority of people in the world and then they built their way up, with hard work, study, dedication and perseverance. Now they own their own homes, have a great family unit, drive beautiful cars, travel to beautiful places, have unique hobbies, wear stylish clothes and eat anything they desire at any time. Yet they feel guilty because they feel they left their brothers and sisters behind. So because they do not wish to seem like a sell out, they over-amplify their “struggle” and “pain” as apparently this is the only way black people can relate to each other, through struggle and pain. Success and freedom is the white man talk.
8) Black traitor – This is the one that opposes the general prescribed opinions and views of what it means to be black. They understand and appreciate the injustices that exist in life at many different and complicated levels but they refuse to conform into a forced way of thinking. They are not moved or driven by expectations placed on them and they live their lives unattached to mainstream narratives imposed on them. They do not crave acceptance or “group belonging.” They are completely free. They live free. They speak free. They think free. And it is this freedom that makes them a traitor, because the reality of a black person must only be oppression and anything outside of this reality is a betrayal to it.